Sunday, January 31, 2010

Emotions are Strange Creatures

Ah, hello there. Yes, it's been a while. Quite a while, actually. As it turns out, it's tougher to keep up a blog whilst doing school during a regular semester. And, as the title of this post suggests, emotions are indeed strange creatures and tend to influence things such as blogging ("I just don't feel like it").

Well, a little updating is in order. I just graduated on December 17, 2009 with a B.S. in Food Science & Technology from Texas A&M. And for anyone who thinks they're funny or something, that B.S. stands for "Bachelor of Science." Sorry-I didn't make the rule, but I gladly adhere to it.

At this point you may be asking one of several questions such as: "Why Chris, do you want to be a chef? Is this a cooking degree?" or possibly, "Is that the same thing as Nutrition?" To which my answers would be: "NO, NO, NO--you're all wrong, you silly oompa loompas! If I wanted to be a chef, I would go to culinary school. And if it were a Nutrition degree, it would be called Nutrition, not Food Science." As it turns out, Food Scientists and Nutritionists tend to be on opposite sides of the food game (in my opinion, anyway). But I digress.

Anyway, I graduated, and now I'm looking for work within the food industry (ie: every product on the grocery store shelf was made by a company. I could work for any of them.) and I'm highly interested in paying off a crap-ton of student loans ASAP.

Now-regarding the title of this post. I'm still living in Bryan, and originally was greatly desiring to stay in the B/CS area and work full time. The reasons for staying are that I love the church I'm at, it's solid, and I really love and am blessed by the community that God has placed in my life. I've lived here 4 1/2 years now, so it's pretty much home (sorry Scurry...). Also, being a college town, it's super cheap to live here, especially the living situation I'm currently in. So, all of these things led to my desire to stick around for a bit.

However, as I looked for work, it seemed that nothing around here was going to work out. There's really only a handful of food companies in the area, and most of them are small and do not have openings. So I started to apply for jobs in other cities and prepare in my mind and heart that I would likely be moving soon. Something I learned last year is that there actually are Bible-believing, Jesus-loving Christians in other places than Bryan/College Station, and there actually is a chance for community in other churches and cities. Knowing this, along with the whole sense of "adventure" that comes with a big life change, I started to actually lean toward and prefer the idea of moving and seeing what God was doing and had planned in another location. New town, new job, all that stuff. I would miss people in B/CS, for sure, but the adventure of leaving would be fun. And part me, the complaining part, was beginning to feel ready for a new town. Being burned out on the overly-spiritual and "Christian" culture of this one, the idea of heading to a new city was intriguing.

And then on Friday, January 29th, a local food company called me out of the blue and set-up an interview for next Thursday, February 4th. I hadn't applied for a position there, but had sent my resume to someone at their out-of-state corporate office based on a contact I had at A&M. The resume made it's way down to the local plant, and they called to discuss a position and potentially training for a supervisory position they expect to open up in the coming months.

What? Come on Lord, I was just getting over staying, was holding things open-handedly, and actually getting excited about change and then BOOM-You seem to be giving a "Yes" to my earlier prayers of finding a local gig. Unless I really botch up the interview, I expect they will offer me a position, and I'll likely take it. It will be good experience, and nice that it's local (and only 5 miles from my house), but part of me is still a little bummed that it doesn't involve leaving B/CS and starting fresh elsewhere. Oh conflicting feelings.

But, like I said, emotions are strange creatures.

The good news is that God is sovereign. He's not asleep at the wheel. He's not deaf. He hears the prayers of the saints. He's a good Father who gives good gifts. And He can turn the heart and give it the right desires-which has been my prayer as of late.

Whatever you want, Lord-take it. Keep me here or move me elsewhere. But make my heart soft and mold-able in all of it. Stir my desires and affections for You, and make my deepest desires be to obey You and please You.